amyneff

G-Force Meets the 101 Dalmations Effect

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:41:43 GMT

I've been meaning to write this since I first saw the previews for G-Force, and was inspired to finally do so when I read this article from Slate this morning.

Remember when 101 Dalmations came out and was super popular? Suddenly boys and girls everywhere were begging their parents for a dalmation puppy. What's cuter than a puppy? Yay! (I'm willing to bet that this lead to a hike in puppymill breeding of this particular type of dog.)

Well, not long after, hundreds and hundreds of families discovered that dalmations are not always superhappyfriendly dogs, and due to their temperment as a breed don't always fit in well with families with small children. Also they're big dogs who take time, money and training, and oh right, ARE NOT TOYS. Hundreds and hundreds of dogs were abandoned and turned into shelters. This happens every time someone makes a movie about a particular breed of dog, and the results are never pretty. There were concerns that there would be an immediate demand for whatever dog the Obamas adopted.

So, now they've made a movie about guinea pigs. Its opening sales were higher than those of the new Harry Potter. (Why? HP was bound to be awesome, and G-Force looks TERRIBLE.) And now, people are buying guinea pigs from pet stores by the boatload. The 101 Dalmations Effect has crossed the species line.

Say it with me, people: GUINEA PIGS ARE NOT TOYS.

-They require a lot of attention and careful watching after.
-The have FRAGILE HEALTH. Finding a proper exotics vet is not always easy, and is EXPENSIVE. If you fail to treat an ill guinea pig IMMEDIATELY, s/he will likely die. Failing to treat ill animals is ANIMAL ABUSE.
-Your young child cannot care for a guinea pig without ACTIVE adult supervision.
-They need a LOT MORE SPACE than the cages petstores will sell you.
-They do not do well alone and do best with cagemates. This means MORE SPACE AND FOOD.
-Their diets are demanding, and to keep them in proper health one must do a good deal of research.
-They live upwards of SEVEN YEARS. This is not a small, disposable "first pet" that will die as soon as your child becomes bored. Where will you be in seven years?

AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS FURRY, PEOPLE, NEVER, EVER, EVER BUY A LIVING ANIMAL FROM A PET STORE. There are thousands upon thousands of animals in shelters and rescues the world over who need homes. When you buy an animal from a petstore, you sign the death warrant of an animal in an overcrowded shelter. You know those puppy mills I mentioned? Yeah, there are guinea pig mills, too.

And you know those shelters I mentioned? They put down countless perfectly rehomable dogs and cats when they cannot find homes for them or run out of room to keep them. THE SAME THING HAPPENS TO SMALL ANIMALS.

If you're considering getting a guinea pig as a pet or know someone who is, there are some important things that must be considered BEFORE bringing an innocent, living, breathing animal home.

1.) Cage Space. (see guineapigcages.com) As I mentioned before, guinea pigs are social, herd animals and do best in well-matched pairs and groups that CANNOT BREED. Are you prepared to build a cage that will take up a minimum of 7.5 square feet in a prominant place in your home? Do you know how to determine a guinea pig's sex so that you do not accidentally house a male with a female and end up with many, many guinea pigs?

2.) Vet Care. (see guinealynx.info) There are a multitude of health ailments that can affect your pet. Do you know what symptoms to look for? Guinea pigs are prey animals and are experts at hiding symptoms of illness until it is too late. Do you have access to an exotics vet who has experience with cavies and knows which antibiotics are safe for your pet? Can you afford emergency vet care for all of your animals should they all suddenly come down with mites of respiratory infections? Will you have the time and patience to treat your animals with life saving medications multiple times a day? If your animal is unable to eat, are you willing to handfeed him? Find a good vet before you need one.

3.) Diet. (see guinealynx.com) Guinea pigs have special health requirements. They need access to food and water constantly, or their digestive tracks will stop working. They need proper amounts of clean, fresh vegetables, and it takes time to learn which carry inmortant nutrients and which have too much sugar and should be fed sparingly as treats. Quality pellets must lack harmful, cancer causing chemicals, baked bits and seeds. They need some form of grass hay, such as Timothy hay, for fiber content and to keep their ever-growing teeth down. If your local petstore does not carry quality foods, are you prepared to order from a catalog or website and pay shipping for better, more expensive foods? Not to do so would be the equivalent of feeding your child lunchables and fast food daily because you can't be bothered to cook a proper meal.

And finally,
ADOPTION AND RESCUE. (see cavyspirit.com) Pet stores sell sick and missexed, mill-bred animals and dole out oodles of bad information. Backyard breeding (which yes, includes "just one litter for the kids") comes with high health risks for the mother pig and babies. And again, there are so many animals in shelters.

If there is a pet store in your area selling guinea pigs, I PROMISE there are guinea pigs in need of rehoming. Search the following places for an animal who needs a forever home:
-your local shelter or animal rescue
-petfinder.com
-guineapighome.com
-craigslist.org
-local bulletin boards, such as those at super markets
-friends and family

See? This is not as simple as going to the store, buying a $20 animal and a $45 dollar cage and calling it a day. That's what I'm saying.

Blogulator - Sitcom Idea # 2

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 20:43:13 GMT

HA! (I'm looking at you, Family Guy and King of Queens.)

Piglove: Wash Everything Edition

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 03:32:56 GMT

Yesterday evening was Pig Wash Day at the laundromat, the event in which I take all the deliciously urine-soaked towels and fleece the pigs live on and throw them in a super long, super hot load with vinegar and deodorizing detergent and hope for the best. When I open the dryers, I pretend I'm not greeted by a puff of pee steam.

Pig Wash Yesterday means Clean Cage Today. I stopped at the pet store on the way home from work to pick up a double-wide Pigloo in pale green with sparkles, in anticipation of tonight's fluffy, clean bedding.

The evening rolled through first washing the dishes, which had taken over the counter and had started calling me mean names every time I came into the kitchen. It was so wonderful when they all hushed down to drip dry. I also took down the kitchen trash, which contained some geriatric apricots that were the brand new home of a batch of fruit flies, and as much of the recycling as I could carry with one hand. At that point it was cool enough to hit the streets, so I went out for a run, which was delightful and left me salty, sticky, and longing for a hot victory shower.

It made sense to clean the cage *before* washing up, so I piled the pigs into their carry cage and went about my business. Normally I rotate between washing the cage with white vinegar one week and Nature's Miracle the next. Tonight was a vinegar night. The process of cleaning the cage generally takes about ten minutes, so I didn't think much of giving the girls a single dish towel that was on hand instead of their usual 3 or 4 hand towels, which were all still buried in the pile of clean pigstuff. I swept up the poos and trampled hay (anyone have a garden that could use some AWESOME fertilizer? It always seems like such a waste to throw this all away). I rolled up the fleece, and then each of the squashed, dirty towels, depositing all in a garbage bag, tying it tight and setting it aside for the next Pig Wash Day.

And then I saw them. Little black fruit flies. Everywhere. They were in the base of the cage (which is made of coroplast), and all over the wall. *Poof* They were everywhere. I couldn't figure out where they'd come from. In an attempt to kill them off in droves I reached for the Windex and sprayed the bottom of the cage, then all over the wall, then the base of the cage again, wiping them all up as I went, sure that that must have eliminated the majority of them. Normally I would never use Windex on the cage, but I felt this was a special occasion. Then I noticed a concentration of them in the corner of the cage, all bunched together. I sprayed the windex into the seam of the cage base and whoosh, out washed a tiny river of twitching, dying fruit flies. They were living IN THE COROPLAST. OMG GROSS. All I can imagine is that some of the apricot fruit flies moved away from home after college and thought that the corner of a pig cage where the most poops collect would be a great place to start over. I continued to spray into the corner until they stopped washing out, and gave the next corner over the same treatment. By now the cage had been completely scrubbed down about three times.

Finally I was ready to spread out the fresh towels and fleece, position the pretty double-wide Pigloo between the blue and purple smaller ones, and fill the cage with pigs. They always treat a clean cage with the curiosity of travelers who have just stumbled upon a delightful new planet. Each Pigloo must be entered and marked with one's urine, and then the food must be found. It makes the unpleasantness of cleaning up after them totally and completely worth it.

I returned to the carry cage to retrieve my pigs. Brogan was first out, and she got right to business exploring. I reached in next for Lieb, who pulled her signature Houdini and dodged my hand. I reached for Sass instead and...SQUISH. Her entire belly was soaked with pee. They'd pushed the hand towel to one side and she sat in the back of the carrier for about 20 minutes longer than expected, absorbing a puddle of someone's pee, possibly her own. Great. Awesome. Fantastic.

After fishing Lieb out of the carrier and returning her to her cage, I picked up Sass with one hand, grabbed a ten gallon bucket and the bottle of Bunny Wash in the other, and plunked her in the tub. I ditched my running clothes and filled the bucket with warm water, then picked up the soggy pig, looked her right in the buldging, horrified red eyes and told her, "This is love, Wee One. Pure, unadulterated love." I proceeded to bathe her in the bucket, for which she was rather well behaved despite her terror. She's actually quite long when she stands on her tip-toes and can just barely reach the bottom (but I held her butt up with one hand for the majority of this procedure).

As I have no hair dryer, we finished up with a few towel rubs to get the worst of the water out of her fur. I turned off the air conditioner so she wouldn't catch a chill, wrapped her in a pig towel burrito and covered her with one of the smaller Pigloos, hoping she would be either patient or scared enough to remain in her personal steam room until the towel had soaked up the rest of the water. Unwilling to watch her most assuredly shrug off both the Pigloo and my advice, I returned to the bathroom to wash first the bucket, then my running clothes, then the tub (which kinda needed it) and finally, gloriously, exhaustedly, myself.

It is now after 11 and I have yet to eat a proper supper. This is love. Pure, unadulterated piglove.

LOVE STORY (Taylor Swift) meets VIVA LA VIDA (Coldplay) - Piano Cello - by Jon Schmidt

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 03:40:35 GMT

OMG this is incredible. Piano and strings mashup of Love Story and Viva La Vida, two songs I absolutely love on a combination of instruments that pushes me to tears.

Am I the only one who thinks watching that pianist play incredibly sexy?

What has 9 toenails and a...

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:11:42 GMT

That would be me. I have 9 toenails. At long last, the nail on my left big toe completely detached a couple days ago. At the bitter end it was hanging on by just the crease on the left where it curls below skin level, so I messed with it until it came off. The last few nights I was sleeping with a sock on that foot so the nail wouldn't get caught on my sheets, which felt super weird and could be painful, and was wrapping it with a bandaid during the day for the same reasons.

I gotta say, it feels much better now. On Saturday I found myself surrounded by a swarm of small children and was suprised how much of a relief it was to know that none of them could accidentally step on my foot and rip the nail off, which tends to be incredibly painful. There's a weird arc across my toe that's indented a bit, and I wonder if it's a new, thin nail starting to grow back, but maybe it stopped short and got dug in where the front of the old nail was still attached.

Here's hoping it works itself out. I'll be watching it with great curiosity. This will also not stop me from painting the other 9 some pretty shade of red this summer.

Hanover Twp Women's 5K. Woot! First 5K.

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 20:53:15 GMT

Saturday morning I ran the Hanover Township Women's 5K, which was the graduation race for my women's beginning running class. Allow me to share.

We, some 200 women, started the class 12 weeks ago. I joined with a college friend who asked me to do it with her. Neither of us had ever done any kind of running before. And so two days ago we joined the army of women in matching red graduation shirts, the scattered class mentors in pink, and the other women mingling around the starting line.

The weather was beautiful--high 60s, cloudy, light breeze. The course weaves through a beautiful neighborhood, the inhabitants of which were not crazy about having their streets blocked off. There were only a few kinda-hills, all of which were shallow but most were pretty long.

Our awesome mentors ran with us for encouragement, but not competatively, which I was not expecting. We started off chatty and I tried so, so hard to maintain a slow pace. I was unsuccessful and hit the 1 mile mark at ten minutes, which may be the fastest single mile I've ever run. I allowed myself a 60 second walk before picking the pace back up.

I kept reminding myself to settle in, settle in, we're just traveling, just keep traveling, but GEEZ did the second mile seem to take forever. One of the women in my class and I are fairly well matched in ability, and we ran pretty close to each other, assuring ourselves that we totally got this. We hit mile 2 at 22:44, which meant I was back at about the pace I predicted I'd run.

By halfway through the end of the third mile I was starting to feel it. It had been a good 16 minutes since my last 30-second walk, probably the longest time I'd ever run without any kind of break. (In the last week of our training we were up to a 10 min run, 1 minute walk routine, but after the first mile of the race I lost track of timing myself and fudged it. I'm also used to timing myself with specially designed playlists, but the race didn't allow headphones.) At the last curve I felt my face twisting into a pout, and I remember turning to my classmate and sputtering, "It's getting so hard!" The hot sun had come out, the shirt I was wearing didn't breathe as well as I'd hoped it would, and my breath had become almost a wheeze. She once again shouted some encouragement and we made the turn.

It was the last (slightly uphill) stretch and out of nowhere I pumped my arms and took OFF over the last few yards and finish line. No idea where it came from, but DAMN that felt good.

Final time: 35:06:22. That's a better pace than I allowed myself by a minute per mile. Placed 143 out of 301 women.

Am I pleased? Absolutely. Will I do it again? Absolutely. For the time being I'd like to work on improving my speed, and the distance I can travel between walking breaks.

The high after that race was epic. I was grinning from ear to ear all morning, and would just start laughing at anything. After taking myself out to lunch I stopped by my friendly local running store for a badly needed new pair of running shoes. And the afternoon nap on my living room floor was also pretty epic.

OMG WANT

Fri, 29 May 2009 04:12:43 GMT

http://www.furrrrocious.com/

But WHAT COLORWAY?

Old School

Fri, 22 May 2009 18:08:58 GMT

I was just thinking about the year at school when they replaced our mini milk cartons with plastic milk pouches. It happened somewhere between 3rd and 5th grade. Two students came around a week or two before they made the switch, and demonstrated in the middle of math class on a pouch of water the proper way to stab it with the straw. I remember wondering how they picked which kids got to skip class and give the demonstrations, because I was a little jealous. If you didn't put your thumb over the end of the straw, milk would squirt everywhere. The pouches looked like the one in the picture, except there were no pretty images printed on them. There may have been some generic black print indicating the skim and 2% milk, but the chocolate you just figured was chocolate because it was brown. I remember people drinking all their milk and then blowing the bags up like pinwheels, and spinning them on them with the straw poked all the way through.

/reminiscing.

The continuing foot-related adventures of...

Wed, 20 May 2009 16:22:13 GMT

"As the bruised skin underneath the nail starts to heal, separation of the toenail from the nail bed may occur causing the toenail to fall off."

Soooo, yeah. Totally losing a nail. I bruised it, get this, because I was wearing snug shoes and my toenail was too long. The first what-to-do article I read about bruised toenails starts off, "If you're a runner, chances are you'll deal with a bruised toenail or two at some point in your running career." [here.]

Sad thing is, this isn't even from running! I'm sure the running doesn't help, but still. Does that count as irony? Alanis?

So, the back half of the nail on my left big toe has officially pulled completely away from the cuticle, and now hovers over the skin. The front half is perfectly fine, attached and normal looking. The back half is a tannish color and gets soggy when I shower. I am resisting the urge to mess around with it because I'd be ok with it staying attached for a while.

It takes between 4-6 months for a toenail to regrow. Expect updates.

So, I'm running...

Tue, 12 May 2009 16:23:12 GMT

I was kicking into the first push of my running routine yesterday when this older guy messing around with a ladder in his yard called out, "Hurry up, there's a sale down there!"

Now, on principle I ignore just about anyone who calls out to me when I'm out on foot, because it's rarely a friendly greeting, so I didn't react to this man. But I did hear what he said, and I did think about it.

I've seen plenty of yard sales in that particular neighborhood so my first thought was, What, is there a yard sale down the block somewhere? And do I, in my sneakers and exercise clothes, look like I'm headed to a yard sale?

At 6pm on a Monday, it also would be a really stupid time to have a yard sale. The inhabitants of the houses I was passing must have realised this too, because there were no yard sales to be seen.

Soooo, guy sees young woman running down the sidewalk, and the only reason this could possibly be happening is...OMGSHOPPINGLOLZROFLSTFU. Asshole.

Seriously, why did he feel the need to comment? It wasn't even a dig at what I was wearing or a cat call, it was just a blatant stereotype that was completely unrelated to the situation aside from my being female. I really, really don't get it.

An email from ArtsQuest: New Pennsylvania budget will hurt the local arts.

Fri, 08 May 2009 18:19:13 GMT

Help us save funding for the arts!

The Pennsylvania Senate approved their version of the budget for FY 09-10 (SB850).

SB 850, includes zero funding for Pennsylvania Council on the Arts arts grants.

If the Senate version prevails, beginning July 1, 2009 there will be no arts grants in Pennsylvania. This will directly impact the Lehigh Valley and all its great art and cultural programs.
Below is just a short list of some of the organizations that will be deeply impacted by this budget cut:
-Arts Community of Easton
-ArtsQuest
-Bach Choir
-Bethlehem Fine Arts Commission
-Godfrey Dainels
-Illicks Mill Partnership
-Lehigh University
-Lafayette College
-DeSales University
-Moravian College Music Institute
-Allentown Art Museum
-Allentown Symphony
-Banana Factory
-Baum School of Art
-Civic Theatre of Allentown
-Liberty Bell Shrine
-Mock Turtle Marionette Theatre
-PA Shakespeare Festival
-Musikfest
-Celtic Classic
-SouthSide Film Festival
-PA Youth Theatre
-PA Youth Ballet
-MayFair
-Lehigh Valley Arts Council
...and so many more

Cultural arts really enhance the quality of life in the Lehigh Valley. It is so important that we let the Senate know that arts funding is important to us and to the economic vitality of the state.

Please contact your state senator today to let him/her know that $14 million for arts grants is important to you. If you wrote to your senator last week, give them a call today to tell them:

-You don't support SB 850 with zero funding for arts grants and
-You would like arts grants funded at the $14 million level.

You can find out contact information for your senator by visiting our Legislative Action Center at http://capwiz.com/artsusa/pa/state/main/?state=PA Type your zip code in the box at the top of the page and you will be taken to a page with information for all of your elected officials. Please personalize any phone conversation or letter that you may write with anecdotes about how arts funding has enriched your community.

Last of all, forward this e-mail to family, friends, co-workers, etc. and ask that they also contact their legislators in support of state arts funding. I'm singing to the choir, I know, but what a dreary state we would live in without the arts. If funding ceases to exist, that just may happen.

Thanks for all of your help with this important campaign.

If you have any questions, please contact Citizens for the Arts jlh@citizensfortheartsinpa.org or by phone at 717-234-0959.

Bontrust: Increase In Currency (Money love)

Thu, 07 May 2009 15:36:24 GMT

Make your money multiply with us.

HA!

From my co-worker.

Mon, 04 May 2009 19:12:40 GMT

New Study Revives Hope For Male Pill

Mon, 04 May 2009 15:47:00 GMT

Total cop out: Jezebel says it better than I would at the mo.

But yeah, they're doing tests on Chinese men and have found monthly testosterone injections (and some other stuff) to be 99% effective as male birth control. For all but 2 of the men the effects were reversible.

So, progress! Go, science! Gotta wonder what kind of physical and behavioural side effects extra testosterone is having on those guys, though. Not that women don't deal with (sometimes major) side effects with hormonal birth control, but I would expect extra testosterone to make people more aggressive.

As always, I'm curious to see where this goes.

Regarding guilt.

Fri, 01 May 2009 14:55:11 GMT

I learned somewhere in my early college career to be suspicious of any person, organization, force, or entity that pressures me to feel shame or guilt. It's a powerful manipulation tactic, and not one people try to use on me when they're truly interested in my own good, or at least not when they respect or trust me enough to make my own decisions. If I'm going to change my behaviour, I want to do so as part of an informed choice, not out of a sense of obligation.

I truly appreciate this article by John DeVore: We Men Don't Have 'Guilty' Pleasures. He points out that when men enjoy doing/eating/watching/verbing something that is quote-unquote BAD for them (DeVore actually describes this as whatever they're obsessed with), they celebrate it. They wave the Nerd banner, the Pizza and Beer banner, the Unquestionable Loyalty to Sports Team X banner, they slap on the war paint, and invite over the guys to play with them. They hold competitions (in my experience) and brag about them for years to come. (In my experience, they also welcome the women to play, too.)

Women, by comparison, will generally "indulge" in something like, say, a huge serving of delicious non-salad food, or a gossip magazine, or too much alcohol, and publicly apologise. They'll express regret, guilt, shame, disbelief at their own bad decisions and poor behaviour. They'll hide their secret pleasures from anyone who may judge them.

...Why? Why the polar opposites? Men have possibly unhealthy Obsessions that they share with their friends, but women have Guilty Pleasures. We allow ourselves to enjoy unladylike things, but only if we swallow it with a big old serving of self-punishment. We'll set ourselves up for public flogging and preemptively flinch. That, my friends, is fucked up. I agree completely with DeVore: "Feeling bad about feeling good, even if the good is short-term, is for puritan chumps."

DeVore also points out that men (and I would argue women as well) often apply their Public Reaction to Enjoying Something along the lines of what is traditionally accepted as gender-appropriate. "I'll wager many ladies are the quiet guardians of their man's not-really-secret, but not-really-public, quirks." (See? Patriarchy hurts men, too!) He then proceeds to proclaim his love for "frou-frou" bubble baths, reality TV, and delicious, flaky quiche. Fuck gender stereotypes!

While this article closes with a message to men that it's ok to enjoy their softer side, I hope women will come away with a reminder that it's ok to enjoy what they enjoy without feeling guilty about it. Ladies, when you feel bad about feeling good, the only one hurting is you. And that doesn't do anybody any good.

Amateur - Lasse Gjertsen

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:45:20 GMT

This is some really awesome and fun video editing. This guy is neither a drummer nor a pianist.

"Rap Chop" featuring Vince (Steve Porter's Slap Chop remix)

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 02:56:55 GMT

Watch this, you're gonna love my nuts.

Sesame Street: Spin Doctors Of Two Princes With Zoe, Telly, And Elmo

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 03:57:59 GMT

I LOVE that the Spin Doctors played Sesame Street. This made my night.

Vicks First defense

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 18:28:04 GMT

If I ever end up with a child, this will be me.

The Rachel Maddow Show: Insani-Tea: Conservatives Rally Around "Teabagging"

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 02:04:49 GMT

Well who wouldn't want to teabag John McCain, that's all I have to say.

DNC Web Ad: The Number Zero, Brought To You By The Party Of N-O

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:18:55 GMT

The Republicans have submitted a budget...with no numbers in it. Plenty of diagrams. No numbers.

Extreme Sheep LED Art

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 17:54:48 GMT

Ok, this is the fucking coolest thing ever.
I kind of feel bad for the sheepies...
But wow, dudes.

Brides and ye who knew them...

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:35:28 GMT

So, as it turns out, I'm going to be throwing a bridal shower in not too long. I have zero clue what I'm doing, as I've never been to one of these shindigs before, let alone been in charge of planning one. Being to Google queen I am I've been doing all kinds of internet searches for ideas, but a little live input from real people is really more my speed.

So. Anyone who's been to or planned a bridal shower, what can you tell me? What were the activities and themes that were fun and worked well? We've got a mixed group of a wide age range, and we should probably keep things on the clean, light, non-lingerie side. Is there a really super awesome website or book you used that you'd recommend?

Spring Knitty!

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 02:46:54 GMT

That was fast. They're on the ball.

Boink.

I have yet to fall in love with everything in a given issue, but a few of the patterns are quite lovely.

I Hate Everyone

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:56:51 GMT

Totally stole this from Ken. But it's just that good.